I still like him, yup. Same ammount as before, if not more.
We still talk, ish. We message each other on facebook and all, but lately I haven't had enough time to go on due to some circumstances, so we haven't been consistently messaging each other like how we used to - everyday. But that's okay, cause he's quite busy. And I'm still trying to settle down.
Today, one of my really good friends asked whether I really love him, Ithink KNOW i do. I actually do. Yes, I do. It may not be like a marriage love, or what not. I don't know. It's hard to explain. I've said I 'loved' 2 other guys before, like I told my bestfriends, and said it like I meant it. I don't think I did.
Because well, the first one. Whenever I told him I loved him, it was usually because he said it first, and I felt obligated to say it back. And because he was my 'first' boyfriend, I thought I loved him. I didn't, obviously. He was just a major crush. And the second guy I said I loved.. Well, it doesn't count. Because after, I realized whom I thought I loved, wasn't who I really did. Like the person I love, was sorta who I made him out to be, but he didn't end up to be who I thought he was. So yea.
I don't know.
Lately, all these thoughts pop up in my head.
If I do move on, and I do see him in a few years time, what would happen? I believe that even if I end up moving on, I think there's a high chance for me to fall for someone like him, again. Because he's the opposite of me, and I truly believe he's the first guy I loved. Like it's hard to explain, I'm not even gonna start on why and how I know I love him. I just do. And that's why I love writing about it, because in the future, I can look back to it, and see how I felt towards this, towards him.
If he was to move on, right now, or soon, or whenever, I'll definitely be heartbroken. I know that because.. Well, I'm selfish. Somehow, all these things he told me, all these promises he makes, I believe them. I never responded to it whenever he tells me that he'll like me forever, or that he loves me, or that he'll wait for me, because I was afraid that if I responded to it, or give in to it, that if he doesn't end up keeping it, I'd be shattered, again.
I've only been ever heartbroken twice. Truly cried over 2 guys for breaking my heart, and I don't want him to be one of the guys that broke my heart. Just because he's my best friend, and our relationship and friendship mean alot to me, him as a person means alot to me. And I know that after I get over someone, I can never like them. Ever. And I don't want him out of my life like that.
So yea, I'll keep you updated!
Goodnight.
Today, one of my really good friends asked whether I really love him, I
Because well, the first one. Whenever I told him I loved him, it was usually because he said it first, and I felt obligated to say it back. And because he was my 'first' boyfriend, I thought I loved him. I didn't, obviously. He was just a major crush. And the second guy I said I loved.. Well, it doesn't count. Because after, I realized whom I thought I loved, wasn't who I really did. Like the person I love, was sorta who I made him out to be, but he didn't end up to be who I thought he was. So yea.
I don't know.
Lately, all these thoughts pop up in my head.
If I do move on, and I do see him in a few years time, what would happen? I believe that even if I end up moving on, I think there's a high chance for me to fall for someone like him, again. Because he's the opposite of me, and I truly believe he's the first guy I loved. Like it's hard to explain, I'm not even gonna start on why and how I know I love him. I just do. And that's why I love writing about it, because in the future, I can look back to it, and see how I felt towards this, towards him.
If he was to move on, right now, or soon, or whenever, I'll definitely be heartbroken. I know that because.. Well, I'm selfish. Somehow, all these things he told me, all these promises he makes, I believe them. I never responded to it whenever he tells me that he'll like me forever, or that he loves me, or that he'll wait for me, because I was afraid that if I responded to it, or give in to it, that if he doesn't end up keeping it, I'd be shattered, again.
I've only been ever heartbroken twice. Truly cried over 2 guys for breaking my heart, and I don't want him to be one of the guys that broke my heart. Just because he's my best friend, and our relationship and friendship mean alot to me, him as a person means alot to me. And I know that after I get over someone, I can never like them. Ever. And I don't want him out of my life like that.
So yea, I'll keep you updated!
Goodnight.
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