I was reading Katie's blog today, and something about it makes me feel something. Connect with her piece of writing, her situation. It's not because i'm her bestfriend. Its not because it's written beautifully, or has a good structure. Or the fact i'm interested in her life story. It's the way she writes that seems familiar. Something I haven't felt when I'm writing in forever.
I used to love writing, you see. It was a passion. I started when I had my first breakup in 2009. That's when my vocabulary, and my skill to express feelings with words, came out. It's like I had it with me all along, I just never had something to strive it out of me.
I continued writing because it made me feel better, because I could and because people said I was good at it. I even thought I was good at it. I owned several diaries to share my love lifestory. One dedicated to him only, the other one for my bestfriend and myself. The others are just anything to fill the gaps in life that did not include him.
I love writing because it's a good way to express yourself, it's a good way to describe things in depth and in details, it's a way to reach out to others, and to connect with them. Sometimes I write rubbish, but it just sounds good. I just add words that are even hard to comprehend, just because it makes my whole 'piece' sound more.. magical.
Anyways, because of my move and all (and yes, I'm moving. If you didn't know about it, check my other blog: Stranger in my own hometown) I stopped writing. And I barely go through heartbreak now, so writing isn't exactly necessary.
A few months back, I took my old blogging account and re-activated it. Deleted my past posts and started blogging. At the start it was gay, and private. But something that made me continue to write, it's the fact I thought I was talking to you. yes, you. No one. and I could write about anything, anyone.
When people started finding my account, something inside of me felt attached to it. Felt attached to how many views I get, and the comments and feedbacks I had. Which was good. my views kept growing, which is a sign of interest. Currently, I have over 1500 views on one blog. which to popular blogs, is nothing. but to me, it meant a sign of growth and just.. something that made me or could make me worth something. anything.
But I loss my whole purpose. Which is passion. In fact, some bloggers (and youtube beauty gurus) lost their whole purpose, and reason why they had this passion, or why people liked them in the first place. And the feeling I had today while reading Katie's blog is this, the feeling of connecting with your piece of writing. To add emotion, truth and unnecessary details into it. Things that don't and shouldn't matter. I write for myself, not for everyone else.
So I created this blog. to share my thoughts. Specifically on guys and relationships. My own personal uninteresting life. Because I need something, somewhere to share my feelings and thoughts I can't say to some people. And the internet is the best place to put it.
So yes, diary. internet diary, nice meeting you. I guarantee I will talk to you very soon. And i promise, I will write with honesty and all the unnecessary details. But dw! I'm not neglecting my other blogs. You are just specifically for relationships. My relationships.
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